Oh goody, yet another rant. This one hasn’t got a point, but I just feel like venting, because I’ve had a hard day and rargh.
This time it’s about vacuuming! But Tremaine, you ask, what could you possibly have to argue about vacuuming? Oh, just about everything.
It would also appear that no one in stock photos has any idea how to use one...
I don’t know if it’s something engrained in me from a traumatic experience as a child like an evil vacuum hoovering up my cuddly toys or I was a dog in a past life, but I just can’t stand them! Hairdryers are fine, desk fans fine, but vacuums… NOT OKAY.
Now this is not to say that I live in a dusty cobweb-filled cave, no no no! I have a lovely clean flat in the city and regularly broom around, though I’d prefer to have a maid like the real Tremaine (but that would just end in glass slippers, pumpkins and princes).
So what’s got me fuming today? It’s one particular vacuum cleaner in general; one that I use every day at the end of work and always mocks me with it’s sarcastic, evil grin.
He can see into your soul, you know?
Yes, the Henry Hoover - I have no actual gripes with the functionality, it’s a flippin good model! It’s just… that face. I’m tired Henry, it’s the end of a hard day – stop smiling at me, please have some sympathy. You know I fell up the stairs and scraped my shin and yet there you are… eternally smiling. Why are you so happy?! WHY?! YOU’RE FULL OF DIRT.
If anyone can tell me why Henry is so happy, please let me know. And don’t tell me I’m going mad – I’ve already contacted Lionsgate films to pitch a Saw-themed horror film with Henry as the villain.
Related articles
- “Vacuum Cleaner Does Not Lose Suction” Myth Busted by GoodVac.com (prweb.com)
- All I Want is Dust in the Wind (butenuffaboutme.wordpress.com)
