This article is from The Ugly Stepsister. As usual, her posts are a little PG-13/R and sometimes even NC17. Those who are sensitive to explicit things might want to avert their eyes. And keeps small children away. - Idearella
Gentlemen, you may fancy yourself expert panty removers but I’m about to reveal some underwear info I bet you didn’t know. Yeah, you’re welcome.
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1. We all have period panties. Even the hot girls. Yes, and the chicks who go commando. We each have a few pair of those roomy, tattered but comfy underpants that we don’t mind if they get stained and allow for the expanding girth. Consider yourself warned. If this was something you didn’t want to know in your efforts to keep us always sexy and feminine, then don’t go pokin’ around in the the ol’ panty drawer.
2. Panties have dictated sex for many a single woman. If she’s sporting granny panties or some ugly torn drawers, thinking she wasn’t going to see you that night, you are SOOO not getting laid. No matter how bad she wants it. UNLESS, she can figure out a way to ditch the ugly panties before the big reveal (club bathroom trash can, cuz she can’t do it at your house or jacket pocket – both true stories) OR she has a really super close friend (practically sister) who happens to have on great panties and is willing to switch. I know this is disturbing, but as I tell Prince Assface, I am not responsible for my friends’ actions.
3. Different outfits require different panties. Some clothes require fullbacks while other mandate a thong. And that’s just scratching the surface. Color has to be considered and not just because it may show through. When you’re trying to feel like a together on top of the world kinda women, you do not want to know that if you got in a wreck, EMS would find some hot pink cotton Tweety underwear on under your great black power suit. Panties set a mood and I’m not referring to bow-chicka-bow-wow. Like if I’m working out or wearing jeans or something kinda tuff girl sporty, it’s cotton all the way. Plus, I and many other women I know like the panties to match the shirt. All this to say, it’s a lot more complex than you guys ever thought. We are projecting a mood, trying to create smooth lines, and matching. No wonder why women are generally later than men.
4. Lastly, beware the panty purist. None of the aforementioned rules apply. This girl found her brand, cut, and style years ago and does not waver. This is a pragmatic woman who believes all problems have solutions. She would not be caught dead in turquoise rhumbas for big girls or red and yellow boy shorts with HOT THANG printed on the crotch (so I’m not a purist, what?). You also have what I refer to as semi-purists. These are your strictly cotton girls. They will have different colors and cuts – but all are 100% cotton. These women are usually pretty straightforward chicks who still love to laugh.
Just so you know, I’m not proud of this or the amount of time I just took to write a post about panties. But it’s off my chest and in a public forum. Yet another reason for my parents to hate the internet.
- The Ugly Stepsister
