This is the debut post from our new author: The Ugly Stepsister. Read about her in the About page.

For the last month I’ve been considering my New Year’s Resolutions. You know, pick yourself apart, examine how badly you sucked last year, and how you broke all those promises to yourself. This year I am doing it different.

After observing my husband and several other men, I have decided that the problems (extra weight, unhealthy diet, guilt, poor self image, just to name a few) are in my approach, not necessarily my execution. So, no more resolutions for me, just one hopefully life-altering mantra to live by. And everything else will fall into place.

I will live like one of the guys!

No, gentlemen, this is not some male bashing harangue sponsored by a bitter female (that’s for a later post). This is my white flag. I am giving in to the simple way of your thinking. Your thinking that is without guile and manipulation. AKA “Those pants don’t make you look fat; you make you look fat.” I am adopting a male attitude towards the things that have been holding me back.

Here are the new life changing rules:

I am not being good or bad when I eat a particular food. I am not a good mom or bad mom. There’s no more good or bad.

I have never ever ever heard Prince Assface simper, “I had a bad eating day.” Nor does he mindlessly nosh on pizza, fries, burgers and cheesecake and bemoan its badness, or his badness for enjoying it. He eats and enjoys.

I spend too much time thinking about what I want to eat or do eat. No more! I’m not going to lose out on what is in front of me. If I have chosen it, I will enjoy it to the fullest.

I am done saying “I was a bad mom today because I didn’t ______”. Men seem to be able to look at events with a more overall scorecard.

Nobody got killed, alright. Let’s call it a day.

Here is a man giving another man a compliment:

Dude 1: Nice truck.

Dude 2: Thanks!

End of story. Not the case with us females. We have a secret language that generally goes a little something like this:

Chick 1: You look great. Have you lost weight?

Chick 2: I wish. I feel so fat!

Chick 1: OMG, you don’t know fat. I have gained so much weight but I wouldn’t even notice my weight if I had skin like yours.

Chick 2: <and so on…>

Notice with dudetalk – compliment given, compliment accepted. Chicktalk, not so much.

I’m now going to accept compliments like Dude 2. I’ll smile confidently and say Thanks – nothing more required.

And just so you know, when I say you look great, YOU DO!

Prince Assface and The Duke of Farts went to lunch the other day. The Duke called the Prince tubby. There were no crying jags or chocolate binges following this. Really.

I even asked Prince Assface if it hurt his feelings. He said no. He said he’s gained weight since high school. He also said the Duke of Farts ain’t missed any meals either…

Boys seem to consider the source and the truth of the matter at hand. They decide if they are ready to make a change and proceed accordingly.

I don’t want to be a justifying female to myself or anyone else. Kinda like the movie He’s Just Not That Into You. No more excuses to allay my fears or soften blows that allow me to dwell in mediocrity.

Conclusion

Almost three years ago my father had a massive stroke. In the time since her stroke, my sisters and I have faced many obstacles. So many times we have looked at each other and said, “It is what it is”.

Generally when we said this, we were surrending to the obstacle. The real challenge lies in accepting the IT and IS without guilt or thinking it to death and knowing when to surrender and when to get back at it.

And that, my dear ‘rellas, is a work in progress.

The IT and the IS is life. If nobody got killed, just call it day, not good or bad, just a day.